THEY SAY YOU CAN DIE DURING SEX.
— In sexology, there is a concept of sweet death — death during sexual intercourse. Interestingly, there is no recorded case where a person would have died during sex with his wife. But there are many cases when a man (usually no longer young) died a sweet death in the bed of a mistress or prostitute.
WHY NOT HIS WIFE?
- Sex in a relationship is more predictable. A man has developed a sense of security and trust. With a mistress, first of all, the adrenaline works, because someone can enter, find out or find out later. And secondly, usually a woman is much younger, so a man turns on the desire to show himself. The heart may not be able to stand such excitement.
Also, some people who change, maintain their erections are not always proven means. They do not consult a doctor, and this can affect their condition. After all, erectile dysfunction pills are not lollipops.
WHY DO MEN CHEAT AT ALL?
— As we have already said, evolution had a hand in this, which, of course, does not justify anyone. Other reasons are a lack of desire in a relationship, a desire to take revenge on another person for some internal conflicts, a desire to test myself (“Can I still attract other women?”). People who cheat are very often afraid of intimacy, so they seek to leave the relationship, even if they love their partner or partner. I worked with a man who turned on his webcam every time a relationship got “too good” and looked for a one-night stand. Because of this, there were quarrels, which suited him, gave him a sense of intimacy.
HOW DID YOU MANAGE IT IN THERAPY?
— Now, when a client has such a desire, he is going to go out of town to ride horses or just live in the country. He admits that his behavior was self-destructive.
Many men cheat on business trips, team building. Thanks to Dating apps and portals, it has become incredibly easy these days.
For men who have distorted sexual needs, most often the appearance of a woman is not important, they need the very opportunity to have quick sex. This is called sexual availability.
WHEN CAN WE TALK ABOUT DISTORTED NEEDS?
Most of the pages of this book describe various manifestations of sexual frustration and ways to solve it.
People with frustrated needs sometimes engage in substitute sex, for example, in prisons, boarding schools, or on ships. Sometimes spontaneously, under the influence of some drugs. One of my clients went with friends to the mountains, to Bieszczady. They set up tents. It was good until the moment when the rain began, which cut them off from the world for several days. They fortunately had food supplies, but they also had alcohol. And one night, all of a sudden, all but one of them started having oral sex. I emphasize that these were heterosexual men who had wives and girlfriends at home.
THE MAGIC OF THE BIESZCZADY MOUNTAINS.
— My client has never had a homosexual experience before. And he couldn’t explain what had happened: “I missed a girl, had a drink, and somehow I started making out with a friend, and then we moved on.” They never talked about it again. All that was in the Bieszczady mountains, remained in the Bieszczady mountains.
IT FOLLOWS FROM OUR PREVIOUS CONVERSATIONS THAT THE EFFECTS OF ALCOHOL ON SEX CAN TAKE MANY FORMS.
- Alcohol reduces the time of erection and slows down the body. The main reason for its reception is the desire to gain courage, courage, greater openness, and overcome shame. I have heard of studies that show that 60 % of sexual encounters are under the influence of alcohol. For me, as a sexologist, this is information that we have problems with shame, since we need to take alcohol as an excuse for sex. Surprisingly, more than half of murders are also committed under the influence of alcohol.
I have worked in two well-known centers that treat addictions, and I have often heard this argument. “After a couple of glasses of beer, I turned to girls who would be afraid to communicate with sober.” When these men were young, they did not consider the consequences that came later. For example, testicular atrophy.
WHAT IS IT?
— The testicles shrink, become less elastic, and therefore produce less testosterone, which is reflected in erection problems an