— HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?”
— At the age of 16, when “adult” sexuality begins, a man needs little incentive to get excited and want sex. For example, there was a cute classmate – one visual stimulus. She smiled at him — he takes it as an interest in himself — that’s two incentives in the basket. And here you are: arousal and erection.
The guy is 18 again a friend, again smiling, but this is not enough to excite. But he can smell her perfume. Three incentive. Excitation…
AND ERECTION.
“And so on. At 30, we need six incentives, at 40, nine, after 50, more than ten. These are, of course, approximate figures, but it is absolutely certain that the older a person is, the more he needs incentives for a successful sexual life.
BUT MEN STILL THINK THEY’RE 25 AND NEED NEXT TO NOTHING FOR SEX.
“Exactly! A client comes to me in his forties and says he had an erection just a year ago and now he doesn’t, and I say, “Yeah, you weren’t forty yet.”
“SOUNDS REASONABLE.”
— As we have already said, many people have a problem with the fact that sexuality is moving away from sexual automatism every year. There should be more incentives with age. You need more time to prepare for sex, you need flirting, seduction, and it’s not just about seducing a partner or partner, but also to be seduced yourself.
— AND ANY MAN WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE TO WORK HARD TO GET AN ERECTION?”
“An erection is one thing and holding it is another. I have a lot of patients in their 50s with erection problems. They see naked Breasts, get excited, they have an erection. It seems to them that now everything will go on as in the years of youth, when suddenly the erection disappears.
“WHY?”
“Because they only got one incentive, and that’s not enough to keep her. Adolescents erections may last 50 minutes, and for a person over 50 a few minutes — already a success. In addition, cholesterol and resin with age lead to narrowing of blood vessels, which is why the flow of blood to the penis is not the same as before. Attention, smokers! In men who smoke regularly for 20 years, erection problems occur in 80 % of cases!
— HOW DO WE KNOW WHAT TO PUT IN OUR BASKET?”
- We need to figure it out. We are the best experts in our own sexual life, on our own skin we know and remember all the hours of passion. What stimuli do I have: visual, auditory, tactile, taste or smell? We need to run an analysis. This first. Secondly, we need to determine for ourselves what psychological and emotional problems we want to solve with sex.
— THIS IS A HIGH LEVEL.
— I recently came to the client 18 years, who loves to dominate women. His partner previously agreed to this, but she had a conflict with her father, and she no longer wants a man to sit on her. She wants partnership, not domination. He can’t.
- NO ERECTION?
— Yeah. Although he is theoretically at the age of sexual automatism, there is no need for what is needed in his basket and no erection. Because o dominance is a big place.
“AND IT CAN’T BE REPLACED?”
— You can, but often, when one important incentive falls out of the basket, it is impossible to find an equivalent. Maybe it should be compensated with three or four small ones.
THAT’S SEXY MATH.
And there may be visual arts. One of my clients has bulging vertebrae in his basket. He definitely needs to see them, they excite him. So it is always Dating skinny women and prefers the position back. Then he has a strong erection, but if a woman does not see the vertebrae very well, his erection is much weaker.
“WOMEN DO THAT, TOO?”
— Certainly. One of my patients likes long thin hands and green eyes in men. Such a fantasy about a green-eyed pianist. Can all these tendencies to equate to a small fetishes.
“Okay, we SENSE STIMULI through our SENSES. BUT WHY DOES AN 18-YEAR-OLD NEED TO DOMINATE? SOME PEOPLE PREFER TRADITIONAL SEX, AND OTHER BDSM, AND OTHERS STILL SOME IMAGES. FOR SOME, AS WE SAID IN THE CHAPTER ABOUT FANTASIES, THE ASS IS IMPORTANT, AND FOR OTHERS THE CHEST. WHERE DOES ALL THIS COME FROM?
Personality. First the personality is formed, and only then-sexuality. It also happens that someone is too early faced with sex, for example, because of a person with a violation of sexual preferences — in other words, a pedophile or a rapist. This can disrupt personality and, as a consequence, sexuality.