Everyone’s sexual needs are different. If the libido level of a man is identical to that of a woman, this situation should be considered normal. Therefore, no indicators of the type of duration or frequency of sexual acts can serve as criteria for assessing the quality of sexual desire.
Determining the optimal level of libido is subjective and only conditionally depends on popular stereotypes and cultural traditions. Individual qualities, in particular the sexual constitution, are equally important. Here, the psychological criterion is at the forefront: whether intimate life helps to adapt to everyday activities or, conversely, disorients, and how much it satisfies a man.
However, fatigue, daily stress, poor health or excessive enthusiasm for work lead to the fact that a man ceases to feel the need for sexual contact or even pays attention to the reduced need for intimate life.
In other cases, he does not notice a decrease in the level of his sexual desires, but the partner begins to show dissatisfaction with the loss of interest in her.
According to doctors, about 10% of men are concerned about a decrease in the level of libido. Such factors as excessive enthusiasm for work, lack of employment of the partner, as well as some religious beliefs of the woman contribute to the weakening of interest in intimate life.
In general, sex therapists carefully avoid assessing the quality of intimate life by the number of intercourse conducted over a certain time period. They begin to talk about the weakening of sexual activity only when sexual contacts take place no more than 1-2 times a month. Nevertheless, even with such indicators, doctors do not diagnose a “decrease in libido”, unless, of course, this fact becomes a source of negative experiences for both the man and his partner.
Some people, being perfectly healthy, very rarely and to a small extent feel the need for sex. Moreover, this problem does not cause them any concern or concern. Such people are most often adapted to life in a society where men’s conversations are mainly conducted on sexual topics, and the behavior of representatives of the both sexes are defined by special stereotypes. In this kind of mini-societies, men and women are used to giving all their strength to work or some other kind of activity. Even after getting married and having rare sexual encounters, they do not feel violated or damaged.
This behavior is conscious, and the lifestyle is appropriate for individual individuals. Therefore, the lack of sexual contact in these communities cannot be characterized as a sexual disorder. This is just one of the variants of the norm.
Another question is whether these people consider themselves happy. The answer depends on what this behavior is based on. If asexuality corresponds to the characteristics of a particular man and is not associated with the suppression of natural desires, then he has chosen
a lifestyle that suits him according to his physiological needs. And let the beautiful representatives of the opposite sex do not cause this person violent emotions, but he can spend his energy on the activities that interest him.
Such a man is honest with others and with himself, does not pretend to be what he is not capable of being, and generally accepted standards do not rule over him. The absence of sexual contacts and love adventures does not cause him any inconvenience. He feels fulfilled even without sex, which means that he is really happy.
A completely different situation develops if a person, not being asexual, begins to deny sexual activity. In this case, the obstacle to having sex is the fear of intimate relationships, which eventually develops into disgust. This kind of fear is formed in childhood and is based on negative experiences. First of all, this is a strict ban on receiving bodily pleasures, accompanied by intimidation and punishment.
It is also possible that a person was sexually assaulted as a child. In addition, the aversion to sexual activity often hides the fear of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, in particular AIDS.
Such a man, as a rule, begins sex life in a timely manner and continues it until fears become stronger than desires. In this case, he ends all relations, presenting the partner with unfounded accusations or excessive demands. This is how a man motivates his refusal to have sexual intimacy.
A serious reason for quarrels and disagreements between partners is often the difference in the levels of sexual desire.
A decrease in interest in sexual activity in one of them can be caused by any reason, ranging from fatigue to boredom from the monotony of intimate contacts.
The latter is most often found in married couples who live together for many years.
The decline in sexual desire is rarely a problem for one person. This is a disharmony of relationships that goes far beyond sexual contact. Therefore
both partners should solve this problem, and not so much by artificially
increasing libido, but by eliminating misunderstandings.