— UNDER CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES, I LOOK AT THEM, AS EVERY MAN, SEVERAL TIMES A DAY.
— Close enough? I suppose not at all. For example, men often think that as a child they had some kind of genital injury, as a result of which they had surgery. You know, down through the testicles and the penis goes something like a scar, something that can be taken as a trace of the seam. And this is nothing more than a reminder that initially we are all women. A little more hormones in the prenatal period, and the embryo of a woman becomes the embryo of a man. Under the influence of androgens, the scrotum is formed from the female labia, the penis grows from the clitoris, and the vagina is tightened with a seam.
— SO HE WHERE. THAT IS, A WOMAN NOT DESCENDED FROM ADAM’S RIB.
— That’s exactly what’s not! The story is just that Adam came from the clitoris of eve.
THE CHURCH HAS NOT HAD TIME TO UPDATE THIS INFORMATION IN THE BIBLE.
— A woman is also not a man with an amputated penis, and such a myth also exists. Often clients in their fifties and sometimes younger, with a mixture of pride and disdain, say that a woman is a half-assed man. Those who read something also talk about the Freudian envy of women to the male penis.
— I THINK THIS CHAPTER IS CLOSED. NOW IT IS SOMETHING LIKE A JOKE.
— It was not a very good hypothesis, which has already died a natural death.
— MAYBE ON THE SEAM WE DON’T KNOW MUCH, BUT EVERY MAN IS GOOD, HOW DOES THE HEAD OF THE PENIS. WHY IS SHE SURROUNDED BY THE FORESKIN?
— The head consists of a spongy body and is a very sensitive organ. Therefore, it is surrounded by the prepuce — the foreskin that should move over during erection. If the tissue does not move away, it is called phimosis, which is very easily corrected operationally. If the head is experiencing pain during sexual intercourse, you need to use a lubricant; if this does not help — you should contact a urologist who will advise analgesic ointment.
UNDER THE FORESKIN IS THE FRENULUM THAT CONNECTS THE FORESKIN AND THE HEAD.
— It is also very susceptible, it can be easily damaged during sexual intercourse. It has a vessel, which when damaged very much bleeding. If this happens to you, you need to clamp this place and hold the bleeding for a while, and then it will stop.
— THE SEAM ON THE CROTCH, A VESSEL IN THE BRIDLE, WHAT ELSE DON’T WE KNOW ABOUT THEIR PENISES?
— The penis is different in color from the rest of the skin — it is usually darker. For some men, this is a concern. They may think that he is not the same as if sewn. Similarly, with glands under the head.
— SUCH SCABS?
— Yeah. These are glands that may be on the edges of the head or under it. There is nothing wrong with them, but it seems to be one of the most popular questions that young people ask dermatologists.
— I AM ALSO IN HIGH SCHOOL YEARS WAS AT THE DERMATOLOGIST! I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS A SYMPTOM OF VENEREAL DISEASE, ALTHOUGH, EVEN NOT HAVING SEX. WHAT IS IT THEN?
— These glands produce smegma, natural lubricant, a creamy substance. Smegma reduces friction during penetration, protecting the head from chafing.
— AT REST THE HEAD PROTECTS THE FORESKIN AND DURING SEX — SMEGMA.
— Smegma over time changes color and smells. Initially it is white, but after a few days it becomes yellow, and after 10 days — green. Along with the color gives way to the smell. He’s getting nasty. Therefore, hygiene is very important not only outside, but also under the foreskin, which must be pulled to properly wash the head. Otherwise, you can seriously infect your partner or oral sex partner.
During the years when I worked with Professor Zbigniew Lev-Starovic at the Institute of sexology of the Polish Association of sexologists, I faced serious problems of hygiene. We’ve had sex offenders of all kinds, and I’ve been coordinating forensic examinations for years, conducted by doctors and psychologists. Many times after the examination of the genitals, we had to ventilate the rooms for a long time, as the smell of old smegma is very unpleasant and complicates psychological examinations, which sometimes lasted for hours.
— I THINK THIS STORY IS QUITE MOTIVATING TO TAKE CARE OF HYGIENE.
— Pubic hair also delays the smell. Once a client admitted to me that she does not engage in oral sex with her husband, since the smell of his penis causes her gag reflex. I asked if she’d told him that, but she said she didn’t want to upset him.
— THEREBY UPSETTING YOURSELF EVEN MORE.
— When it comes to hygiene, we talk a lot about washing hands, brushing teeth, but completely forget about the genitals. But their purity is incredibly important for health.
LET’S BRIEFLY DIGRESS FROM THE PENIS AND DOWN BELOW. WHY ARE THE TESTES LOCATED OUTSIDE?
— So they don’t overheat. The scrotum is a kind of cooling device, outside it the temperature is 3-4 degrees lower than in the body. All this is designed to take care of sperm that need this temperature. At high temperatures, the sperm coagulates. Clients often say that they masturbate while sitting in the bathroom, and then on the way out they find some dried snot on the skin. And this is just the effect on the sperm of warm water.
THE TESTICLES SOMETIMES SHRINK, SOMETIMES HANGING FREELY. IT ALSO DEPENDS ON TEMPERATURE?
— Once a client came to me with only one question: “When I look at my testicles, they hang like two cans of beer in a package. And when watching porn — they pulled up to the member how tight the sack.” This question is asked by many men, and the answer is simple. They hang when the man is calm. In an excited state they rise.
— HOWEVER, IT HAPPENS THAT IN THE EXCITED STATE THEY ARE HANGING.
— It’s a mechanical erection. She has nothing to do with real arousal. You could only accidentally touch the head, and — again! This often happens with men aged 12-25 years, that is, during the automatism of erection.
Some men use this property of the testicles and, when they want to stretch the time of the act, grab them and gently pull down. Only need to do it carefully, don’t pull right up to your knees! Just a little pull. Then you can delay the moment of orgasm for about a minute.
BUT YOU CAN OVERDO IT AND DELAY ORGASM FOR AN HOUR OR TWO. IN PAIN.
— It’s important to listen to yourself. The skin on the scrotum is the thinnest on the whole body. Just like the skin on the entire penis, which is not torn during an erection, although the penis can increase by a third. This is worth remembering when shaving and waxing. And, by the way, do not forget about the testicles during sex — this is a very erogenous, sensual zone.
— IS IT IMPORTANT THAT THE LEFT TESTICLE IS LOWER THAN THE RIGHT?
— This is our anatomical structure. Perhaps this is done to ensure that they do not RUB against each other. Inside the scrotum there is a partition that does not allow the testicles to swap places. Besides, one of them is bigger than the other. These questions, of course, are asked by many men, especially during puberty, but it does not have a negative impact on the ability to have children or an erection.
— WITH SYMMETRY OF THE PENIS, TOO BUMPS. MANY MEN ARE FACED WITH THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE “NOT A” MEMBER OF THE CURVE.
— I often hear it in the office, and they think that this is due to the fact that they wear it in a particular Trouser leg.
BUT IT’S NOT, RIGHT?
— Of course not. The size and appearance of the penis is inherited along the male line. If someone is unhappy, contact your father or grandfather.
THIS CURVATURE AFFECTS THE ACTIVITIES OF A MEMBER?
— Yes and no. With each new partner it is necessary to spend a few hours figuring out which position suits you. If a man loves a Messianic pose, but feels pain in it, you need to choose another. Having sex in a new position many times, we get used to it, and then it can become a favorite.
— IS TO EXPERIMENT.
— There are people who are afraid of change. Men come to me who want to get carried away with new relationships, but are very afraid and do not think where to start. They are only looking for reasons why this should not be done. As the saying goes, “wishing searching for way to, and lazy — an excuse.” What can prevent me from having sex successfully? Dating a woman? They analyze the information and, of course, there is always something.
— AND UNLESS THE MEMBER IS NOT ELASTIC SO THAT THE CURVATURE WAS NOT A PROBLEM FOR US?
— Elastic, that’s one. In addition, he is not always in a state of complete erection, neither to the left nor to the right. Most often he is in a state of “half-erection” or 80 % — then it turns out to practice different positions. Many of my clients hate this condition. They think that if they have a weaker erection than a porn actor, “half-erection”, then they are “half-men”.
— CERTAINLY, THERE ARE MEN WHO DO NOT LIKE THEIR PENISES?
— This is dysmorphic disorder — a variant of hypochondria, based on dislike for your body or its element. Michael Jackson had a dysmorphic disorder in relation to skin color and nose. He lightened his entire skin , changed the shape of his nose with surgery. By the way, celebrities often have this disorder. And among all who are exposed to it, about 10% are not satisfied with just the genitals. Recently, the procedure of lightening the skin around the anus, reducing the labia has become popular. I had clients who didn’t like the look of their penis, the shape of their testicles. Some may dislike several parts of the body, such as ears, height, and teeth. Such people often find partners based on this feature.
— THIS IS WHAT PARTNERS?
— Those who do not accept this feature. Thus they find confirmation of what they think about their body, as well as motivation to do something with it: piercing, nose shape correction or penis enlargement. These partners strengthen the people in opposition to himself.
When I see that a man is looking for a way to increase the penis and, despite visiting a sexologist and urologist, is not ready to change his opinion, I suggest him to take a course on working with dysmorphophobia. Subject to this disorder, people are constantly striving to increase the penis, even by a centimeter. They don’t take the facts into account. Even the high risk of a failed operation does not deter such people.
— YOU MENTIONED PIERCINGS. I HAVE A LOT OF TATTOOS. I WONDER IF YOU CAN CONSIDER ME DISMORPHOPHOBIA…
— I once had a client who had pins in his penis. This kind of piercing. At the same time because of him, he could not have sex with his partner, as he would have to take out the pins, and this for him was asexual. Pin it closed the alleged deformity of his penis. Sometimes, in order not to remove the pins, he did partner Fisting (injected into the vagina hand) and caressed her penis right in the pins.
— PINS IN THE VAGINA? SOUNDS RISKY.
— That’s why he chose to partner the masochist, those who were initiated this risk. But it came to me, when death fell in love with the woman that such phenomena did not take. We’ve been working on his dysmorphic phobia to get him to accept his cock for what it is. When I once asked him how he Masturbates, he said, “Fine. I take the magnet and move it up and down until I reach orgasm.”
— REALLY?.. NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION.
— I also had a patient who tattooed his penis with the name of his partner. He was very amorous, at the same time did not like this feature, so he found a very powerful lady, stuffed himself with her name to convince her that he would never change her. They broke up because of jealousy, and since then every new woman learns the name of the former during oral sex.
YEAH, THEY PROBABLY LOVE IT.
— The other my patient in the head was something like a small Shoe studs. He loved to humiliate women and knew that such decoration will cause them pain.
Many men at the heart of dysmorphophobia is the belief — “I need to do a piercing: it will allow me to look stunning. The stunning view gives me super strength. Only then will I be myself.”
— A MASCOT.
— They are very popular in our culture. This is what advertising calls us to do — buy our drink, and your life will change. Use our deodorant, and all the girls will come to you. Buy our car and you’ll feel free. Advertising delegates our solvency to external factors. And this is a lie, because self-confidence comes from within. Advertising is the engine of trade.
With the decoration itself is about the same. I am attractive because I added something to myself, finally someone will pay attention to me. This thinking is based on unconscious fear.
— MEN ARE AFRAID OF SEX?
— Some people have a fear of castration during sex. Usually those who had some kind of operation. Those who have or have had phimosis, cryptorchidism (omission of the testicle into the scrotum) or varicose veins of the spermatic cord.
It happens that they are afraid of aggressive female genitals.
— THE VAGINA DENTATA.
— Yes, the so-called toothy vagina, whose teeth will deprive men of the penis. Often this involves the fear of putting his hand under the bed, the fear of darkness. You don’t know what’s coming. But you’re sure something’s threatening you. This is a fairly common reason why men avoid sex. During psychotherapy, we come to her and use the exposure, that is, the client himself is exposed to his fear, for example, first introduces a vibrator into the partner, then a finger, and then a member.
— AVOIDING SEX IS THE ONLY STRATEGY PEOPLE WHO ARE AFRAID OF VAGINAS?
— Some during sex, hold the arm member in order not to lose it.
Unfortunately, more and more common is the syndrome of Corot, which came from the Far East – the fear that the penis will be drawn into the body. For this reason, some Asians wrap something around the penis or tie bamboo sticks to it. One of my clients had a terrible fear of an erection, because he was sure that once a member so easily can “go” forward, it can also hide inside. Never come back.
— LIKE A TURTLE.
— Yes, because “Coro” in Malay means “turtle head”.
IS IT POSSIBLE TO LEARN THIS HATRED TO HIS GENITALS UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF COMMENTS SUCH AS “DO NOT PLAY WITH THE PUSSY”, WHICH WE HEAR AS A CHILD?
— It’s a very common cause. I have a patient who was caught masturbating by his grandmother at the age of ten. She was very religious and with a belt in her hands convinced him that manipulating “the Scriptures” was the worst thing a person could do. His head was postponed that do only perverts, and now, when it concerns a partner, it all POPs up. He immediately lost erection and testicles ache.
HE CAN’T HAVE SEX BECAUSE OF MY GRANDMOTHER?
— We’re working on it.
— WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I WAS MASTURBATING, I WAS LOCKED IN A ROOM WITH JESUS. HE DIDN’T GIVE A DAMN.
— It’s also common. My clients shut down their parents ‘ wedding photos when they invite a school friend home and there are no rodaks. There are people who never masturbate where there is a mirror. To accidentally themselves not see in the process. And my other client, who grew up in a Studio apartment, masturbated only in the bathroom, as the room hung images of the Pope, who worshipped his single mother.
— I KNOW HIM WELL.
— The rule is that the sooner we hear certain things, the more they will be recorded in our subcortex and will affect us. If you hear a critical comment about your penis at the age of 35, you may consider it — but not necessarily. And if it falls on something that was born in childhood, when your views were just formed, there may be a problem.
— IN THE CHILDHOOD WE ABSORB EVERYTHING LIKE A SPONGE.
— And one you can’t squeeze out of. One of my patients met a woman who reacted very strongly to his erection problems. It is scandals, that he is impotent, and he is merged with the fact that the mother was talking about sexuality.
— IT IS POSSIBLE TO ASSUME, THAT IT IS RATHER THE SEXUALITY DENIED.
— Well, no. And in his subconscious was deposited that all women react so, so he began to avoid sex, so as not to run into unpleasant situations.
A conviction from childhood weighs, say, 50 tons. Every year the weight of new beliefs decreases. At the age of 35, newly acquired performances weigh only 10 tons. So when you have some idea from home that sexuality is a bad thing, a sin, you need a few dozen times to get into the opposite situation to establish balance.
— THERE ARE NO MAGIC BULLETS AND INSTANT CHANGES OF THINKING.
— Unfortunately. Instead of a magic wand — scales and persistent shifting of weights from one bowl to another.
— MY FRIEND WAS RAISED BY HIS GRANDMOTHER. SOMEHOW SHE HAD FOUND THE CONDOMS THAT HE BOUGHT OUT OF INTEREST. HE WAS ABOUT 14-15 YEARS OLD. SHE TOLD HIM THE STORY THAT WAS IN THE CLINIC, WHERE THEY BROUGHT A COUPLE THAT “GOT CAUGHT AND COULDN’T DISENGAGE”. IT’S LONG BEEN “CURED” HIM FROM THINKING ABOUT SEX.
— I have a patient who was brought up by an uncle, an old bachelor, from the age of five to fifteen. Now we would say “single”. My uncle was an incredible believer. Including why no woman with him for a long time could not withstand, and he really wanted sex. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. And what do we do when we want but can’t get?
— ANGRY AND LOOKING TO BLAME. OR PRETEND THERE IS NO PROBLEM. OR LOOKING FOR COMPENSATION. A LOT OF OPTIONS.
— Uncle defied everything sexual. He told my patient that sexuality is bad, sex is bad, a person is asexual by nature, because he has to give his body and spirit to God, that is, he has to control himself. He pressed the poor boy, and he remembered all this, because at this age it happens. And now, at the age of 40, every time he has sex with a woman, he hears his uncle’s voice, and he loses his erection.
— I’M NOT SURPRISED.
— And now, of course, he hears himself, not his uncle. He has adopted these views and believes that he is convinced of it. In psychotherapy, this is called the parent voice in the head. This is a common mechanism that explains where we get the love of order or hatred for cats.
— DEAR PARENTS, BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU TELL YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEXUALITY. HOWEVER, NOT ONLY ABOUT SEXUALITY.
— In childhood, adolescence, we are like a Board on which write markers. And what is left on the Board, you can only edit, cross out, but it can not be removed: indelible markers. Taken from childhood belief “sex is bad” will remain forever. You can insert “not” (“sex is not bad”), you can write fifty times “sex is good”, but it requires us to work. It will not disappear by itself. Of course, a psychotherapist is needed to help in such situations.
— AS FAR AS I KNOW, ON THE CHRISTIAN ATTITUDE TO SEXUALITY IS MOST INFLUENCED BY ST. AUGUSTINE, WHO WAS TO CONCUBINATE , AFTER WHICH HE WAS A PHENOMENON AND HE IS FROM “SLAVE OF DESIRES”, AS HE CALLED HIMSELF, BECAME A STAUNCH ENEMY OF THE “UNRULY MEMBER.”
— Interpretation of sexuality as something external that captures us, deprives us of will, orders to do different things – a very interesting story. After all, sexuality comes from us, it is completely ours. We can lead it, but that doesn’t mean we have to cut it off. Separating yourself from sexuality usually does more harm than good. If we don’t do it, this river will come out of its banks and flood the whole area.
I like very much what Pierre Abelard, a medieval philosopher and theologian, said: “you can’t say that natural bodily wealth is a sin, you can’t talk about wine if someone uses this wealth where he has to feel it. From the moment of creation, sexual relations and the consumption of delicious food were naturally associated with pleasure; God wanted it that way.”
— HOWEVER, ABELARD WAS CASTRATED FOR HIS LOVE FOR HELOISE, AND HIS VIEWS ARE NOT REALLY SHARED BY THE POPE. STILL IN THE CHURCH, THE VIRTUE IS CHASTITY.
— One of my patients, who was very over 70, told me that his wife rarely wanted to have sex throughout her life. He was used to her needs and didn’t even masturbate on the days of the week when they weren’t making love. A similar situation with his wife was with his twin brother, only he regularly masturbated. My patient has had prostate cancer removed and his brother has never had a problem with prostate: due to regular sex or regular Masturbation, the risk of prostate enlargement or tumour is greatly reduced.
— THAT IS, SEXUAL ABSTINENCE IS NOT GOOD FOR HEALTH.
— Badly. Nature itself takes care of that member was in good shape, ready to use if necessary. To do this, we need multiple nightly erections.
— THESE MORNING ERECTION… IT IS UNKNOWN HOW AND WHY.
That’s known. Every 60, 90 minutes at night, the penis comes to a state of erection, which disappears after 10-20 minutes. This is the result of the action of testosterone, which is produced during the REM phase. That’s why it’s so important for our sexuality to get enough sleep. Not less than seven hours with a small amount of stress and up to nine hours when living under stress.
RELIGIOUS VIRTUE IS A REFUSAL OF SEX, AND THE CAPITALIST VIRTUE OF NO SLEEP. AND ALL THIS IS HARMFUL.
— Lack of or a small level of testosterone, which produced during sleep, affects problems with erection. Professor Lev-Starovich told me that previously conducted cheap and practical “landmark tests” in patients with erectile dysfunction. A member at rest was covered with a strip of postage stamps, and if the strip was in place in the morning, then the patient did not have an erection at night and should be treated with medication. If the stamps were torn, it is clear that everything is in order and the patient has psychogenic problems. Then it was necessary to turn to a psychotherapist and defeat the psychological “block”.