— THE LONGER WE TALK, THE MORE CONVINCED I AM THAT OUR SEX LIFE BEGINS LONG BEFORE WE HAVE SEX. WHAT DOES SEXUAL MATURATION LOOK LIKE — STEP BY STEP?
The first stage – from birth to nine years. At this time, the genitals are still children, the length of the penis is about three centimeters, pubic hair is not yet.
The second stage lasts until about 12 years. At this time, there is a slight increase in the scrotum, its skin appears folds. The penis grows to four centimeters, at its base there are slightly twisted hairs. Also becomes noticeable slight hair underarms, upper lip.
The third stage is the period from ten to fifteen years. The penis reaches a length of six centimeters, and also increases in diameter.
MUTATION OF THE VOICE?
Yeah, a teenager’s voice breaks. At the same time, muscles grow, which often causes painful sensations. Almost every stage causes the boy fear, uncertainty, anxiety. I always appeal to parents to prepare their son for these changes in advance. At the third stage of development to start “men’s talk” – how to blow on water.
THAT IS, PARENTS NEED TO TALK TO THE CHILD, TALK ABOUT WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HIS BODY.
— And that it is normal, everyone goes through it. Parents should help their sons in the difficult period of adulthood, at least buy a razor, so that the boy did not go to school with youthful fluff, causing ridicule.
IT IS EASY TO BUY A RAZOR, BUT TALKING TO A CHILD ABOUT THE BODY, SEXUALITY IS ANOTHER MATTER.
You can use games. For example, there’s this Polish Board game Pytaki. In this game, 96 cards with questions that relate to very important aspects of everyday life, and six cards of emotions. I recommend it to everyone. Sexual education should begin when the child turns to parents with the first questions about his body, about where children come from, what is the difference between boys and girls. There are also good Polish blog, which provides useful articles and recommendations.
LET’S GO BACK TO THE STAGES OF MATURATION. THERE IS A MUTATION OF THE VOICE, PUBIC HAIR APPEARS, WHAT’S NEXT?
The next stage, the fourth, is usually very frightening. In the period between 11 and 16 years, most often about 14 years, greatly increases the head — and it also becomes very sensitive. The skin of the penis and scrotum appears more and more folds, it darkens. Cock grows to 10 inches, pubic hair fill all space of the symphysis, inner thighs. This causes shame and fear: how to come with it, for example, in the pool?
Some boys may think they’re turning into werewolves. Mutation goes in full force. Hair appears under the armpits. This hair hold odor that causes surprise and resentment among the boys — they are unpleasant, they and the surrounding peers. And pimples!
THIS IS ANOTHER ADULT TEST FOR PARENTS.
It is important at this point to pay attention to the child and go to the dermatologist. Few things cause so much sadness at this age as a face with pimples.
The fifth, the last stage, is a period of about 12 to 17 years, usually 15 years. The penis stops growing, reaching an average of 15 centimeters. Testicles too: their size reaches about 25 milliliters. Pubic hair area increases: there are hairs in the abdomen, as a result, they resemble a diamond shape. The figure of the man is similar to the male, hairs on the face.
IT’S A PHYSICAL CHANGE. HOW DOES OUR SEXUALITY DEVELOP?
— This process begins very early. Sexual orientation is already formed in the fetus. This is very important information for those who believe that homosexuality can be “planted” by fashion trends or that it is such a wish that appears as a result of an overabundance of money or seduction by adults. It’s all false stereotypes.
It is important to add also that in sexology we say “homosexuality”, not “homosexuality”, since the second term resembles a “juxtaposition of opposites”, as in alcoholism, love, etc. moreover, we do not say that someone enters into a marriage as a demonstration of his heterosexuality.
“AWN” INSTEAD OF ” ISM.” SO ALREADY IN THE FETAL STAGE, WE’RE SEXUAL CREATURES?
— Already in the fertile waters of the mother we masturbate, both boys and girls. We play with the genitals, smile, experience micro-orgasms.
Sexuality appears before birth and lasts until the age of six — time popular games “doctor”, comparing boys and girls and so on.
DO PARENTS NEED TO REACT TO THIS?
“That’s a difficult question. Professor Maria Beisert in the book Seks twojego dziecka (“the Sex of your baby”), dedicated to children’s sexuality, allocates different types of Masturbation. Including cognitive, which is useful because it comes from curiosity, and instrumental-demonstrative, which helps to meet the needs. The latter should cause concern to parents.
— YOU SAID THAT SEXUALITY, WHICH BEGINS IN THE FETAL PERIOD, LASTS UP TO SIX YEARS. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
From six to twelve years develop cognitive abilities of the brain, at this time sexuality recedes into the background, so as not to compete with other important processes for development. Sexual attraction could interfere with the development of cognitive skills. In men, sexuality reappears around the age of 13. The brain has a year left in case it missed something in the first six years.
— AT THE AGE OF 13, WE ARE EXPERIENCING A SEXUAL REVOLUTION.
— 13 years is the age at which boys begin to masturbate, get their first orgasms, but still, as a rule, without ejaculation. Some people ejaculate, but they are still infertile. Fertile sperm is produced after about two years.
— I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND I SEE SOME STRANGE STAINS ON MY UNDERWEAR OR THE SHEETS AND I GET SCARED.
— There are mothers who with these cowards come to the son-the teenager and angrily ask: “and it that such?”.
MOTHER STUDY BRIEFS SONS?
“The boys take it as lynching. And if he took her panties during menstruation and said, ” Mom, what is this?”.
— WHY IS THERE SUCH A FRENZY AMONG MOTHERS? DON’T THEY KNOW WHAT A POLLUTION IS?
— Some people don’t know that teenagers have emissions or involuntary ejaculation, which is what happens at that age. Others believe that the son was certainly masturbating, hence traces. Still others suspect that the sons began sex life, and this grease some girls who remained on the penis and stained panties. An investigation begins, humiliating for the boy.
— UNSURPRISINGLY. ONCE MY FRIEND’S MOTHER SHOWED HIM A STRANGE STAIN ON A SHOE THAT WAS IN THE CLOSET. IT TURNED OUT, ON HIM HAS FALLEN AND MELTED CARAMEL. BUT THEY BOTH KNEW EXACTLY WHAT MOM WAS THINKING.
“Patients between the ages of 20 and about 25 often tell me similar stories about their mothers. This is especially true for women who raise sons alone. They tend to Hyper. The mother feels that the son is beginning to get out of control. Suspects that he has already started having sex, but she has no proof yet, and she begins to study his underwear to find them.
— ON THE ONE HAND A MOTHER THAT DIGS INTO THE DIRTY LINEN ON THE OTHER — FRIENDS WHO BRAG ABOUT THEIR ACHIEVEMENTS AND THE LACK OF SEX EDUCATION IN POLISH SCHOOLS. GOOD MIX. BUT THIS TIME “DOWN THERE” WAKING UP THE MONSTER, WHICH BEGINS TO STRAIN, OVERGROWN HAIR, FROM WHICH FLOWS A STRANGE LIQUID.
— It makes the maturation period a nightmare for some. Many patients talk about it with shame and sadness. But the fact that” down there ” wakes up a monster — this is only the beginning. After 16 years, sexuality blossoms — boys can’t focus on anything other than sex. Everything is associated with it. They automatically draw penises in the margins, the vocabulary of them and their peers revolves around sex. Very difficult period.
— WE START EXPERIMENTING WITH MASTURBATION, AND THE MOTHER OR FATHER COMES BACK. CATCH THE SON, WHO “PLAYS WITH PUSSY”.
Already 13-year-old boy can masturbate. Even frequent Masturbation in adolescence, if it is the result of sexual arousal — is normal. Sometimes the boy doesn’t even understand why he feels excited, and he just sat in class all day with someone attractive, and it accumulated.
One day a frightened young man, a freshman, came to me. He had involuntary ejaculations. We began to analyze his situation, it turned out that he really likes a classmate. He tried to get close to her, lent her notes, felt her perfume, looked into her eyes, sparkling with laughter and cunning. And he had ejaculations that he couldn’t control. It’s perfectly natural.
BUT BACK TO 16-YEAR-OLDS. DURING THIS PERIOD, THERE ARE ALSO JOINT GAMES OF BOYS-GROUP MASTURBATION.
“Yes, they are natural, and come from our natural curiosity. They do not indicate that the boy is gay. It is interesting that now about such leisure of young people it is heard less.
It’s all about facilitating access to pornography. In the days of videotapes cool was the one who bought porn or stole from his parents. Now it is enough to have a laptop or smartphone. Hence-a more individual approach to the topic. Easier and faster.
The problem arises when this form of leisure at the computer in the life of a teenager begins to prevail over the rest. When instead of going to play football, ride a bike, the boy stays home and watches porn. This is a pathology, and it can end in addiction, a drop in self-esteem, erectile dysfunction, the formation of false images of sexual relations. Sometimes at all can lead to the, that a man will not in able build relations. One of my 18-year-old clients has been dependent on watching porn in the shower since he bought a waterproof Samsung phone.
— AFTER EXPERIMENTING WITH YOURSELF, IT’S TIME FOR THE FIRST TIME.
Usually at this stage the partner is chosen from the point of view of sexual availability, but not attractiveness. Especially when it comes to attractiveness of mind or character.
FIRST EMISSION, FIRST PUBIC HAIR, MASTURBATION, MAYBE EVEN SEX. AND BRAGGING.
It is an essential element of maturation. One already has hair, the other doesn’t, he feels less cool. One’s penis has grown, the other hasn’t.
AND THE GUYS BRAG ABOUT WHO BEAT WHO.
“Macho” usually “reserve” itself thus girls, which them like. They lie to clear their field. It happens that the call attractive and thus unavailable girls. It’s just important for boys to humiliate, to take away their dignity.
This mechanism, unfortunately, is used by both men and women — regardless of age. Giuseppe Tornatore made the film” Malena “about it, and the Polish singer Katarzyna Nosowska sang:”Milena is a whore, as those who did not have her usually say, but would very much like to.”
— WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE YOUTHFUL PERIOD OF STORM AND ONSLAUGHT PASSES?
After 25 years, our sexuality changes. Biology ceases to be crucial, testosterone levels begin to drop by about 1 % per year.
— WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR A MAN?
That it’s time to carefully study your psychosexual skills. A man is aware of his own preferences, learns to charm, to cooperate with a woman. This requires patience and flexibility. Even then, the first problems with erection may appear, which forces a man to realistically approach his own sexuality. After 30-35 years, these problems intensify. Disappears automatism in erection, usually manifested at the sight of the naked body. Men, this is very important, remember this.
After 35 years to achieve an erection may be necessary direct stimulation of the penis-alone or with the help of a partner. I repeat it again, because it is very important: after 35 years of penis stimulation is required to get an erection! Non-contact time was over.
— A LOT DEPENDS ON THE WAY OF LIFE. YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
— True. I have a patient who not only has regular sex with his wife (two or three times a week), but also about once every two days meets with his mistress. He is well over 50, but the sexual system for his age works fine. But he took care of himself all his life. He swam a lot, ate right, got enough sleep — and still lives like that. It bears fruit. This is the best investment that always fights back. Guarantee.
— BUT HE HAS A PROBLEM COMING TO YOU?”
— He has a problem that with the mistress he would like to have sex more often than with the wife, it is better daily or twice a day.
“IT’S A PITY TO WASTE YOUR LIFE ON SUCH PROBLEMS.
— Exactly. Another patient of mine at the same age eats sweets, pizza, leads a sedentary lifestyle, sleeps little, he has problems with excess weight. The first I would give 40 years, the second-more than 60. And for the second, sexuality is in the past.
WHAT’S ON THE PLATE IS SEX.
What’s on the plate, in the pool, on the treadmill… Sexuality is a lot of physical activity, you have to take care of your shape.
It is also worth emphasizing that after 30-40 years in men and women sexuality strongly diverges. A man needs sex associated with feelings, emotions, seduction, foreplay, while women need more direct, dynamic contacts.
The sexuality of Mature women often reflects the male sexuality of adolescence. Men at this age come to me and say with surprise :” you know, I met a girl 20 years younger than me, and we understand each other without words.” I’m not surprised.
— WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?
Sexologists who study evolution claim that men experience the peak of sexual opportunities in the period from 16 to 25 years, because at this time they have the most fertile sperm, killers who will easily overcome obstacles if they meet them on the way to the egg. These are very fast, live sperm. This seed is very high quality, so men have a heightened sexual desire to distribute this seed right and left. And after 25 years, the desire falls so that they can take care of children and make room for men who have higher quality sperm. WOMEN MATURE DIFFERENTLY THAN MEN?
— Sexuality, which they have to sleep at the age of about six years, appears again in 14-15. She slowly dobreet 25-30 years and then reaches a peak, which continues until menopause.
Although, interestingly, some women experience the heyday of sexuality after menopause. I have a 57-year-old client who remained fertile until she was 54. All her adult sex life, she’d been terrified by the prospect of getting pregnant, and after menopause, when the problem disappeared, she’d blossomed. Revived not only sex with her husband, but there were lovers. Colleague, someone from the Internet, someone on vacation.
— LATE FREE.
Sex “autumn” life can be more beautiful autumn in the mountains. Menopause should not be identified with the end of female sexuality. Mature women are better aware of their preferences, erogenous zones, and this brings good results.
But there is a dark side. I was recently at a conference where Professor Zbigniew Izdebski told that more and more people over fifty get HIV. Women after menopause are so relieved that they can’t get pregnant that they don’t think they can get anything.
“WOMEN CAN’T GET PREGNANT AFTER MENOPAUSE, AND MEN ARE FERTILE FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.
Sperm become less mobile with age, but can still fertilize the egg. Recently became the father of my client, who is 74.
— CAN WE SAY THAT ANDROPAUSE IS A MYTH?”
10-20% of men meet with andropause. They are fertile, but due to low testosterone levels they have erection problems, they complain of mood changes, fever, problems with urination, pain in the spine, sweating and excessive susceptibility.
— AT WHAT AGE?”
— About 50. Sometimes before, after 40. But, as I said, erectile dysfunction occurs earlier. About 50 they are already in 60 % of men. This is a very common problem, which is hardly talked about.
YES, I REMEMBER, IN THIS CASE HELPS STIMULATION MEMBER…
— I’ll interrupt you right away, because there’s a big but here. The ” but ” is that many of my clients find it humiliating. They think that the penis will always be 18, the erection should work on demand, on its own, without touching. They do not imagine that it is necessary to “work”on it. Therefore, we have to work with them to change their views and adapt to reality.